Why My Kids Are Well-Behaved in Public (And Yours Can Be Too)
In the 12-going-on-13 years my husband and I have been raising our five babies, there’s one phenomenon we experience with almost uncanny regularity. It happens so often that I’d consider it abnormal not to happen: we get complimented on how well-behaved our children are, almost every time we go out to a decent restaurant.
Now, before you assume we just hit the genetic jackpot, let me assure you: it’s not because we were magically blessed with “good kids.” Sure, they are good kids—as I believe all children are born to be—but there are two significant choices we made that I credit for why total strangers regularly feel compelled to walk over and say something like, “Wow, your kids are so polite. What’s your secret?”
Well, I’m spilling the secret. Ready?
1. We Avoid Artificial Colours and Additives Like the Plague (Because, Well… They Kind of Are)
There’s a rapidly growing body of research showing that artificial colours and additives wreak havoc on a child’s developing brain. One particularly telling study, published in The Lancet, concluded that “[…] artificial colours or a sodium benzoate preservative (or both) in the diet result in increased hyperactivity in 3-year-old and 8/9-year-old children in the general population.”
👉 Read the full study here
And listen, this isn’t just science in a vacuum—this is something I see play out in my own home. Within hours of one of my kids consuming food dyes or chemical additives—say, a brightly coloured candy or an artificially-flavored drink—they turn into little gremlins. Suddenly they’re pestering their siblings just because, snapping over minor inconveniences like waiting 5 minutes for dinner, and generally transforming into pint-sized rage goblins.
The worst part? The effects can last up to 24 hours. It’s like they’ve been body-snatched by a snack-sized version of Dr. Jekyll.
Having my kids in public (or even semi-private) school has been awful. On more than one occasion, I’ve noticed that if they’re home for a week—off school, away from vending machines, and not swapping snacks with their friends—they practically become different people. People I genuinely like and respect. Imagine that.
2. I Didn’t Vaccinate My Children (Yes, I Said It. And No, I’m Not Sorry.)
Now, I know this one might ruffle feathers. But stick with me—I’m not throwing out soundbites; I’m backing it with science.
My children have never been vaccinated. And while we can debate the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” in another post (spoiler: we will), for now let me just say this:
I believe one of the greatest gifts I gave my kids was not injecting them with adjuvants that are directly neurotoxic.
Now, Here’s How That Works:
Vaccines contain adjuvants, which are ingredients added to increase the immune response. Their job is to agitate the immune system and flag down the white blood cells to make them aware of the ‘intruder,’ read, the antigen, aka, the virus or bacteria, to initiate an immune response. The most common adjuvant? Aluminum.
Multiple peer-reviewed studies have shown that aluminum—especially when injected as opposed to ingested (yes, there’s a big difference)—can cross the blood-brain barrier with the help of polysorbate-80 (a detergent), accumulate in brain tissue, and contribute to neuroinflammation, oxidative stress, and behavioral changes.
Let’s break it down:
- 🧠 A 2017 study in Toxicology found that even low doses of aluminum hydroxide injected into mice caused cognitive and motor changes, anxiety, and higher aluminum levels in the brain.
👉 Read: “Non-linear dose-response of behavioural toxicity induced by aluminium oxyhydroxide” - ⚙️ A 2009 study published in the Journal of Inorganic Biochemistry observed motor neuron degeneration and behavioral impairments in mice injected with vaccine-relevant doses of aluminum adjuvants.
👉 Read: “Aluminum adjuvant linked to motor neuron degeneration” - 📚 A 2012 review in Lupus concluded that aluminum adjuvants may disrupt neuroimmune function, especially in developing brains.
👉 Read: “Aluminum vaccine adjuvants: are they safe?” - 🧬 Additional reviews, like this one in Immunologic Research, describe how aluminum creates persistent inflammation and immune activation in the brain.
👉 Read: “Aluminum in the central nervous system”
These neurotoxic effects can manifest as hyperactivity, irritability, aggression, and social withdrawal—you know, the exact kinds of behaviors that lead people to think your kid is “difficult,” when in reality, their nervous system is overloaded and inflamed.
Conclusion: Education Over Fear
I didn’t get lucky. I got informed.
My kids are well-mannered, emotionally stable, and a joy to be around (most of the time—let’s not get crazy) because I made intentional choices after educating myself on what goes into their bodies.
I studied. I questioned. I read the research instead of the headlines. I followed the money. And somewhere along the way, I stopped being afraid.
Because here’s the truth:
People vaccinate out of fear.
People don’t vaccinate out of knowledge and wisdom.
I chose knowledge. And it gave me peace. It gave me power. And most importantly, it gave my kids the gift of a clear mind and a healthy body.
If you want kids who thrive—not just survive—it might be time to take a deeper look at what’s going in before judging what’s coming out.
